JULIE MOREL

The Real Thing 1

The first day I arrived at the house, I was tired by my bus journey and went to bed early… I was woken up at 3 o’clock in the morning by the flatmates I had not met: they banged on my door and i soon discovered that they were drunk. One was even more plastered and […]

The Real Thing 2

One night, we went dancing in Moseley, in a village near Edgbaston. I was really please, it was going to be a salsa night. But once we arrived there, it seems I was the only one to be happy about it. No one was dancing… John gave me the explaination: “we are not drunk enough”.

The Real Thing 3

My house was really dirty, and my flatmates even more. On the first floor lived a gay couple. On their door you could read “beautiful people”. By opposition, I assumed that we were the ugly and dirty people.

The Real Thing 4

While I was in England, he was thinking of me all the time: He told me once: “every morning, when I get up, I hate you”

The Real Thing 5

There was that guy living in my house. Dave. He was the first guy I got chatty with and we got along well. One night the whole house went out, in a strange bar, with loads of gothic decorations on the walls. Students from the campus were hanging there. I found the place awful. As the […]

The Real Thing 6

There was that guy living in my house. Paul. A boy from Liverpool who was trying to D-jay during the night and was sleeping during the day, or he would lie on the couch in the ground floor kitchen-living room, making the kitchen smell of his unwashed clothes. He was always eating cereals and they […]

The Real Thing 8

There was that other guy living in my house. Pete. I think. A boy from Cheltenham. Everybody commented on how posh his accent was. For me he was just the guy with the warm garlic breath.

The Real Thing 9

There was that guy living in my house. Simon. A Newcastle yob with a thick accent. Once he wanted to go to the cinema. I suggested going to see the new Wim Wenders. He said : Who?

The Real Thing 10

One Sunday, as the two of us were speaking quietly in the kitchen, Yan admired that he was spitting in Dave’s shampoo every time Dave was an arse. I laughed, looking astonished, opening big eyes then said:” no way, me too!!” We both burst out laughing. From that moment on, I kept my shampoo in my […]

The Real Thing 11

On day, HE called on the phone landline, and Yan asked nosily, who’s that guy, he is you blockey? In my broken english, I heard “bollockey”. For the next few weeks, happy to have learnt a new word, I used “bollockey” as often as I could.

The Real Thing 12

Our house was a nice but old Victorian mansion, owned by a vicar. He would always come uninvited the day before the rent was due, then on the day. I thought it was really odd: why would he fear that we would not pay him, he was a vicar…

The Real Thing 13

Our house was cold and damp. In the shower you had one of these annoying hot water electrical heater. I had never seen anything like it before. It was never really hot, it was never powerful enough. I had the idea to ask the vicar if he could do something about it. He looked at […]

The Real Thing 14

One day, the heater in my room broke down and Yan and Mary told me they had to go to the vicar the next day: It was only 5 mns away from the house, they would show me where it was. On the way, they explained to me that he owned a few houses around […]

The Real Thing 15

In the spring, during the night, you could hear the baby foxes’ cries, it was like slaughtering a baby.

The Real Thing 16

The house kitchen was a big square room with a bow window on the huge beautiful messy garden. Looking outside was looking at every possible shades of green. Inside, all was green too, and brown, and grey, and yellow. A kitchen with plastic floor on one side of the room, and a living area on the other […]

The Real Thing 17

After a couple of months sharing the house with those 11 guys and one girl, I came to the conclusion that it was statistically impossible for British people to peel a potato without dropping more than 50 % of the peelings on the floor.

The Real Thing 18

A very high ceiling, the downstairs bathroom was impossible to heat and remained freezing cold. Its grey-ish coat of paint gave it a grim look. One Monday, Yan, who was the most resourceful, and always had good ideas, took upon himself to buy some nice 70’s orange paint for the walls, and creamy white for […]

The Real Thing 19

Toilette paper. Meeting somebody in the hallway with a toilet roll.. and you knew their destination. One the house, I soon discovered, there was an unspoken rule about toilet paper: Buy some and leave it in the bathroom, and by the end of the day, it would have been used. Put a new one on […]

The Real Thing 20

For Xmas break, everybody went home, to Liverpool, Newcastle, Cheltenham, Grimsby, Reading, and Portsmouth… My flight was on the 22nd of December, so I had a few days alone in the house. On the second day of being on my own, I decided to make the place nice for myself. I Cleaned the bathroom, scrubbed […]

The Real Thing 21

I had a cat. The important one, the first one, I haven’t owned a cat since actually, but I will, I am positive about it. I had a white cat. I was 12, we had just moved into a new flat, and I was surprised that my mum accepted. Nobody liked it. And it was cool, […]

The Real Thing 22

And then a few days ago I woke up sweating in the morning, remembering a dream I was sure I had many, many times. It was clear to me that I did have that dream periodically. Or it was more like I was dreaming something and then that piece of dream inserted itself in the […]

The Real Thing 23

Like any Victorian mansion, ours had its own damp, musty brick basement. You could access through a door situated behind the main staircase, next to the kitchen. Christmas was coming and we decided to through a party between us. Ian suggested we cleaned the basement to have it as a dance and party hall. As usual, I […]

The Real Thing 24 (song2)

So few words… it began in Africa, setting sun, Julie and Candy, Rony Size’s paper bag, psychic caramel, plants and rags, my mate Paul, you and me always, nothing but you and me, dancing in the moon light, over and over, one more time….

The Real Thing 29

Ten days interval : Monday Monday Tuesday heartbreak On a Wensday Blue Thursday Friday, i’m in love Saturday sun Everyday is like Sunday Sunny sundae smile Sunday mail

The Real Thing 30

I took the plane in Paris. It was warm and nice. The sun was setting down. 15 minutes after the plane took off, the stewardesses started rushing around. To help waiting for the packed bright and multicolour lunch box, I opened my book, “on the road”, and started reading…